Off to sleep...

Try this out for a restful sleep <3

1. Finish all your night-time chores and get the kids to bed (trying not to fall asleep in the process as having to get back up to get to your own bed won't help! If you struggle with this, try doing some gentle stretching on the floor next to your child's bed so you're still close to them but you're staying gently active to keep yourself awake, but still doing something calm and restful.

2. Run a bath hot bath. Add epsom salts (readily available at most stores - I just give a good shake in the tub, maybe 1/4 to 1/2 cup?). Have a glass of water nearby (but don't drink too much as it will make you need the toilet in the night - FYI, according to Huberman's research, we should drink the vast majority of our water in the first 10 hours after waking). Have a journal or notebook around so you can jot down anything that you want to remember.

3. Enjoy your bath for 10-30 minutes. Don't read your book! Although reading your book in the bath is a lovely activity and great at times, even sometimes before bed if that's what your body is asking for, for this experience to have the deepest effect, resist the urge to read. Reading in this instance can just be another distraction from your life, like using a drug to numb the pain or your phone to distract you from your discomfort. We want to take this time to process what needs processing so that our sleep is restful. If you dive straight from your busy day straight into your exciting book and then straight into sleep, everything that needs processing will find its way into your sleep. You will process in sleep nonetheless, but if we can get some of the big stuff (whatever your body deems big) pre-processed, your sleep time won't have to do so much heavy lifting to process the day.

   This is a great opportunity to do a short (or long) meditation. Sometimes I download a meditation onto my device (I recommend the app 'Waking Up') so I can turn my wifi off, helping avoid the temptation to go on my phone after the bath. Other times, I just let myself be still, enjoying the feeling of 'being bored'. Whether listening to a guided meditation or not, try to notice your heartbeat and your breath as often as possible, without forcing anything. Let thoughts arise as they do, but try to see them from a distance, like watching the clouds or a movie on a screen. Notice how they keep changing; unless we keep fuelling them by rethinking the thought again and again, they will eventually fade.

4. About 5 minutes or so before you think you might want to get out of the bath, slide down the bath so your ears are under water, bending your knees and lifting your feet out of the bath to allow your back to be straight (but relaxed, not rigid) and your head to be floating freely in the water (without touching the end of the bath). Feel your upper body floating in the water, gently rising and falling with the breath.

5. If comfortable, put your hands by your side. Gently reach your hands towards the foot end of the bath, imagining you are grabbing hold of a bar to encourage your shoulders down, and then relax, maintaining the open feeling of space in your shoulders.

6. With your ears underwater, listen to your heartbeat. It might take a few moments before you hear it, but with patience, stillness and your focused attention, you should be able to hear your heartbeat in your ears through the water. Eventually, you may feel it throughout your whole body.

7. Once you can clearly hear your heart beating, start to breathe deeply and audibly through your nose. Sync your breathing with your heartbeat by timing your inhale and exhale to a number of heartbeats. Four is a good number of heartbeats to start with, as we have all been indoctrinated via our musical culture into feeling a count of four, but as you continue to breathe, you may be able to extend the breath. Six is also an easy number to feel (or any multiple of two or three), but really any number of heartbeats will work, as long as it feels natural and unforced, and you are conscious of the pulse being the guide.

8. Start slowly and don't force anything. With patience and presence, you will start to be able to:

   • Take deeper breaths in

   • Hold your breath at the top of the inhale

   • Breathe out longer and more slowly

   • Hold your breath at the end of your exhale

9. Remember not to force anything, even the holding. It may take many cycles of breathing before the four sections of your breath (in, hold, out, hold) lengthen, but it will be most effective if this happens more from your patient attention than from forcing yourself to hold or breathe out longer than is comfortable.

10. Feel the body rising in the water with the inhale and sinking with the exhale. Remember to keep the ears under water, the nose above the water, and to keep the body relaxed.

11. After some rounds of breathing, you may decide to bring some different rhythms into your inhale and exhale (e.g. short, short, long on the inhale; hissing or 'blowing out a candle' on the exhale). Listen to your intuition and have fun making music with your body in this way, but remember that the purpose of this time is to calm the mind and body in preparation for sleep.

12. When you are ready to get out of the bath, if your bath water is still quite warm, have a little splash of some colder water to start to bring your body temperature down.

13. After the bath, do whatever you need to do to get to bed in a really slow and calm manner, bringing to mind a feeling of gratitude for having the privilege of being able to have a warm bath before bed. Don't look at your phone or a screen.

14. Enjoy lying in your bed, noticing the sensations that appear and watching how they continuously change.

15. Sleep well <3